Palo Alto - Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay for the first time. Mr Cook, 53, said he had been open with many people about his sexuality for years but wanted to maintain a level of privacy in the public sphere. However, in a first-person article for BloombergBusinessweek, he said he hopes coming out will inspire people to insist on their right to equality – and that is ‘worth the trade-off with my own privacy’. The declaration makes Mr Cook the highest-profile business CEO to have come out as being gay. Writing in Businessweek Mr Cook wrote: ‘Let me be clear: I’m proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me.”
Boston, MA – If one of the greatest gifts of his life is when God gave Tim Cook his gayness, then one of the other great gifts must have been when Steve Jobs tried to cure his own cancer with carrots. Now, I am on the record as saying I am pro gay. If you read that too fast, it looks like I said I’m a gay pro. But no, I am simply for the gays. I am for the lesbians. I am also very much for two (or more) hot chicks pretending to be lesbians. However, I am not for two bros pretending to be gay, because you can’t pretend that. You really shouldn’t have another guy’s dick in your mouth unless you mean it, or, unless you weren’t big enough to defend yourself and were force-fed one as a boy scout. You get a pass for that. On second thought, the only time it’s okay to pretend to be gay is when you’re acting, but not in a gay porn. Even if you could stomach that footage for more than 3 seconds (okay, 45 seconds MAX), all you can think about the whole time is how the set must smell like gym mats and farts. Of course, there’s the Oscar nominated film “Brokeback Mountain” where two bros acted really good at being down with each other’s meat. However, if you watch the ‘uncut’ version, neither Jake Gyllenhall nor Heath Ledger are circumsized. Oh my goodness, did somebody just sound the gay cowboy pun alarm?! WOOP! WOOP!
In closing, congratulations to Tim Cook and other gay men and women around the world who stand up for equality.
#Respect #Coexist #Pride #iOS7DrainsMyFuckingiPhoneBattery