Dailymail – A Canadian father ended up becoming paralyzed after choking during a competitive eating contest to celebrate the Hindu festive of Diwali. Samaljit (Sunny) Aulakh has been laid up in a hospital bed unable to speak or walk since November. He can barely move his head. The 36-year-old father of one fell to the floor after he choked on an Indian sweet. He got up on stage to participate in an eating contest involving gulab jamuns, the soft, doughy Indian sweet. Now the family say they are considering legal action to pay for Mr Aulakh’s mounting medical bills. ‘They called him the winner, and once he stood up, I guess he was choking on the food, which caused him to pass out and have a stroke, and from the stroke he now has brain damage,’ niece Inderjeet Daleh told CBC News.
Well, Sunny Aulakh and I now have something in common: We’ve both eaten our last Gulab Jamun. For those of you that don’t know, the Gulab Jamun is basically a donut hole, but, of course, the Hindus have to give it an exotic name to entice you into eating their doughy, deadly sweets. I’m actually surprised that Dunkin’ Donuts hasn’t targeted the Hindu demographic by coming out with the Gulab Jamunchkin’. Anyway, if there’s one thing we can take away from this story it’s that you do not fuck with Gulab Jamuns. Just when you think you’re going to enjoy a couple of hundred sweets in a disgusting, gluttonous, eating marathon, the evil Gulab Jamun is like “Here, let’s see how you compete now that one of us is going down your wind pipe.” If there’s another thing we can take away from this story it’s that Sunny Aulakh shall be henceforth known as the Steve Bartman of Gulab Jamun eating contests. I honestly don’t see how they can hand him the Gulab Jamun trophy now. He technically did not completely swallow that final Gulab Jamun. Yes, someone declared him the winner, but, according to the witness account above, “He stood up, I guess he was choking on the food”, which means he was trying to hide bits and pieces of Gulab Jamun in his cheeks, like some kind of Hindu chipmunk. At best, he should be credited with a “2nd place” ribbon that can be hung around his big toe, or, if they would rather just give him an honorable mention in the Gulab Jamun Times, I would be okay with that, too. Somewhere out there is the rightful winner of the Gulab Jamun Eating Contest and unfortunately Sunny Aulakh is the one getting all the press. Kind of reminds you of when Canseco and Steroids won the MVP and Mike Greenwell was left standing there holding his non-endorsed dick in his hands.
(Editor’s Note: Given that this is a touching story, I felt it was important to address Sunny’s “mounting medical bills.” Please do not take that phrase literally. It is just a figure of speech, and they are not actually piling up on and around Sunny as he lays in bed.)
For those that dare, click HERE for a Bonus Gulab Jamun Recipe!