Boston, MA – Pun alert! Since February is a ‘short’ month, we thought we’d honor Little People by offering up a midget for this Wednesday’s “Wouldya?” By now you know the drill. If you “had” to get it done and do love-make with the 3-footer pictured below, could you actually do it? Don’t worry, you wouldn’t have to finish one up with her and post it to your Facebook wall. It’s between us. That’s the one thing I don’t like about making gag bets with friends. It always starts out normal, like “Would you bang a midget for $100,000?” and I go “Yeah, absolutely”, and they’re like “Okay, but then you have to take out a full page ad in the Globe and tell everyone you’re a midget banger.” I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with people like that.
Like you, when I’m on long drives, I often wonder how a midget and a normal person would roleplay. Obviously, the possibilities are endless, but by now I bet someone has played “Oscar the Grouch.” If you could find a female midget to play Oscar, you just walk up to your laundry hamper and step on the pedal to raise the lid, but instead of popping up and being all grumpy and shitty, this Oscar rises up and blows you. I can’t be the first person to think of that. And no, I don’t think it would be acceptable to use an actual trashcan because this is about love-make, not degradation.
Anyway, per usual, I’ll go ahead and start it off and let you guys know how I voted. And my answer is (very quiet drumroll using green beans for drumsticks)…….I would. Yep, I know, shocker, but let’s take a look at the positives. She has a nice hairdo, genuinely looks happy to be there and probably knows a few riddles.
And now let’s play everybody’s favorite game, “The Wednesday Wouldya?”