Boston, MA – These are trending now. And trending later. And trending forever. I went to see Frank Santos, Jr., the R rated hypnotist at Nick’s Comedy Stop, and after 30 minutes of waving a pocket watch in front of my face, he told me “You can’t be hypnotized. Your brain is like a steel curtain. I can’t put you under.” And yet, I feel like if I clear my mind and stare at these bouncing gravy bags, I’d be under in about 7 seconds. I’m not kidding, if I were you, I wouldn’t look at them for too long, especially if you’re at work because you don’t want your excuse for why you were caught wrangling one out at your desk to be “It’s not my fault, I was under the power of hypnosis.” I’ve tried that excuse at home before. Trust me, it’s a pretty tough sell if the hypnotized subject had enough sense to prep the whack room with napkins, lotion, ice cubes, Al Green, candles, online porn, and a halftime snack.
Let’s have a good Friday, everyone.
"Safe for work. Safe for everywhere."
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