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How To Waste 6 Tickets At Fenway Park

Boston, MA – Are you dicking me? What is even the point of that sign? Yes, you’re at F-E-N-W-A-Y. Yes, you’re taking up 6 seats that otherwise could have been used for men who understand the game. We are so glad you’re here, now sit down and shut the fuck up. This picture makes me glad I’m sitting at my desk and not next to these squawking fatties. I mean, can you imagine the high-pitched screaming? “JACOBY! MARRY ME! EEEEEE!!” The players wave or tip their caps, and that’s nice, but you know inside they’re thinking “I haven’t banged a chubby since I played in the Cape Cod League, and the plan is to never dip myself back into that smelly pool ever again.” Anyway, it’s nice that special people get taken to the game, kind of like the chick holding the “Y” who looks like she’s happy to have her helmet off for a change.


"Wasted Tickets"

On a side note, I honestly don’t think our Jenny Dell song is getting enough credit. I mean, can you guys forward to a friend or what?

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"Fatboy in Hell"

6 Responses to “
How To Waste 6 Tickets At Fenway Park

  1. diane f says:

    “the chick holding the “Y” who looks like she’s happy to have her helmet off for a change.” <— That line practically had me on the floor. LOL.

  2. met says:

    Either the chick behind them is pissed she didn’t get a letter or maybe that rare chick fan. Her look is one of pure despises: Oh I have to sit behind these as$holes all game? WTF. Should have gotten back to the ticket office and ask for a refund.

    I know the answer:


    2 dollar inquiry fee

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