myfoxboston.com – The New England Patriots’ Zoltan Mesko was plugging his charity event “ZoliOke”, a takeoff of the wildly popular and wildly entertaining international singing sensation “Karoake”, but maybe he should call it “Sweatyoke”, because dude absolutely destroyed himself on Fox25 last night. Now, you can’t really blame Zoltan, because he’s sitting next to the hottest Sportscaster in the history of casting sports. It was probably all he could do to keep from sprouting one and going “up periscope”, which would explain the calculated placement of his folded hands. Kudos to the producers of the segment for pushing on despite Zoltan’s inability to control his body secretions. You can almost imagine the conversation in the control room.
Director: “Jesus. This guy is sprouting leaks all over the place.”
Asst. Director: “Should we just zoom in on their faces?”
Director: “And deprive our audience of Kristine’s legs, which is half the reason they watch our newscast to begin with? Not a chance. Fuck this guy, he made a decision to go no t-shirt, so let him literally marinate in his own juice.”
The good news is, ZoliOke is a charity event to benefit Children’s Hospital. For more information on how you can get tickets and have Zoltan drench an entire table of you and your friends with his unpredictable PH balance, visit here.
If you’d rather skip the event and just watch Zoltan completely saturate himself for free, grab yourself a tericloth towel and watch the embarrassing video here. Also, if you’d like to re-live the historic moment when Kristine tweeted at us with her measurements (height only), just scroll down.