New York (Home of 12 Million Assholes) – Scout Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, was arrested in New York for drinking Pakistani beer, being 20 years old, and using a fake ID. To be honest, I’m surprised the cops hassled her at all. You come to expect certain privileges when your parents are the two greatest actors of our generation, and not getting arrested under any circumstances is one of them. Bruce was in “Armageddon”, “The Jackal”, and “The Fifth Element” and Demi, in a scene that must have been reminiscent of all those long hours spent on the casting couch got pounded on a desk by Michael Douglas in “Disclosure.” Demi also got the role of “Jane” in “G.I. Jane” after she agree to have two perfectly round boobers mounted on her chest. I honestly don’t know if anyone remembers what the plot of that movie was. I know she shaved her head and did one handed push-ups, but if you go up to anyone in your office and say “quick, what was the plot of G.I. Jane” they’ll blurt out “Demi Moore’s fake tits?”
Anyway, Scout is due in court on July 31st. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the attorney that will be appearing on her entitled behalf. In the “something to ponder” department, I don’t see how she could slobble my ganoozle without images of Leno popping into my head. Still, I would.