Boston, MA – If you’re not caught up with Game of Thrones, don’t worry about it, you can see all of Season Two On Demand. Tyrion Lannister, played by Peter Dinklage, gets absolutely fucking destroyed by a sword, and even though you really really really have to check your imagination at the door to believe a midget could ever score a smoking hot chick for a girlfriend, Shae ends up telling him that she loves him for him (LOL) and not the fact that he has dickloads of money (again, LOL.) As if going into the village to shop wouldn’t already draw gasps from onlookers taking note of this couples’ height differential, now this walking carnival show has a diagonal scar across his entire head. Like you, I’ve often wondered if midgets do love-make the same way we do. I’ve heard they have regular-sized dicks, which means there has to be times when their boners spring up and hit themselves in the mouth. Talk about a good problem to have, right? Anyway, not to poke fun at a species of human any more than we have to, but if two midgets do 69, don’t you think they should call it 34.5?
The rest of the season was kind of a build-up for the finale, which should have been 6 hours long. The Mother of Dragons, Daenarys (pictured above), ended up rescuing her baby dragons and they shish-kebab’d the bald asshole that was holding them captive. And after the war, King Joffre, who is such a good actor at the age of 16 you almost have to believe he’s a gayer in real life, appoints his grandfather as the King’s Hand and appoints a hotter looking chick to be his new ass piece/queen.