Flaming Asteroid Named After Flaming Astronomer

Boston, MA but more importantly, WASHINGTON—A Canadian amateur astronomer who discovered several asteroids has named one after gay rights pioneer Frank Kameny who died last year in Washington. Kameny was a U.S. government astronomer in the 1950s who was fired from his job for being gay. He contested the firing all the way to the Supreme Court and organized the first gay rights protests outside the White House in the 1960s. Kameny died last year at age 86. A published citation naming the asteroid this month notes Kameny’s history as a gay rights pioneer.

There’s clearly something missing from this story. How do you get fired for being gay from the astronomy lab? Did someone walk in and catch him up on a ladder with the business end of a telescope up his ass? Or worse, did someone not catch him doing that, then after they used the telescope they hit the restroom only to find a brown smelly ring around their eye? It’s just awful to imagine all of the scenarios.

While gay, lesbian, and transgendered weirdo rights are something that every American should continue to stand behind (sure, pun intended), Mr. Kameny should be commended for protesting outside the White House where many other famous protests have gathered to accomplish absolutely nothing.

With the paperwork being processed for this new asteroid that’s been tentatively titled “Frankkameny”, his former colleagues continue their snickering behind his dead back by doodling phallic-shaped planets going in and out of his bum and referring to his asteroid as “The Fagsteroid.”