Ladies And Gentlemen, I Give You, The MotherSucker!

Boston, MA – When I first announced the MotherSucker a few days ago, the world-changing invention that blows you while you shower, there sure were a lot of Negative Nathan’s out there. I heard everything from “you’ll never get funding” to “can you be held personally liable if someone electrocutes their dick off?” Even Mrs. Munson chimed in with “if you think we’re going to have a fake human head mounted in the shower, you’re wrong.”

I want everyone to relax. This is a time for ‘yes’ in a world where too often we’re told ‘no.’ This is a time for smiles. After all, we’re talking about a synthetic robot head that mounts to your shower wall and sucks your dick while you shampoo. Please keep in mind that what you are about to see is just the prototype. Please keep in mind that you are about to witness history.

But first, let me run this scenario by you so you can envision the benefits of owning your own MotherSucker. You wake up Monday morning and, like most of the world, you hate yourself and your life. You sit down to make your morning pooper like a big boy, but since you went to Market Basket and saved 70 cents on single ply toilet paper, just as you begin wiping, your index finger rips through the paper and goes right into your asshole. You can wash it off with soap and water if you want, but you know there will be a lingering phantom smell. Well, what better way to deal with this smelly turn of events than if you received a blowjob while you shower? Can you think of a better way to start your workweek? I know you want to pay $1 gabillion dollars for the MotherSucker, but good news, the MSRP is $499 (not including wig, fake breasts mount, electrical hookup, and installation of cum drain.)

Get ready to be amazed! Ladies and Gentleman, without further adieu, I give you “The MotherSucker, the Blowjob Device of the New Millenium. To infinite loads, and Beyonnnnnnnd!”