ecouterre: The latest It bag for the 1 percent? Jil Sander’s “Vasari,” a “long rectangular silhouette” made from 100 percent coated paper. Translation: It’s a glorified lunch sack. And it could have been yours for $290. Sure it may be a brown paper bag with stitched seams on each side, a couple of gold-colored metal eyelets, and the words “Jil Sander” emblazoned in barely perceptible type on its bottom, but it’s a brown paper bag nonetheless. If Sander’s brand of “Derelicte” wasn’t offensive enough, the designer also offers a black leather version for $630.
People are up in arms about this waste of money and gross show of wealth, but not me. The one percenters can’t wipe their asses without getting accused of wasting paper. This is a natural response to the Occupy Wall Street derelicts. “Hey, look over here dicks! I could’ve clothed and fed a whole team of rapists, theives, and trustafarians masquerading as a social activists for a month, but instead I bought five paper sacks for my lunches this week. Suck on that.”

Hell, I’m going to buy a few to put the dogs’ turds in on those long walks.
I bet they don’t leak. My bukake beaker is filling up.
Sorry Mikey, I’m afraid the ventilation grommets are certain to allow for leakage…
Maybe for a few hundy more you can get some custom made bags though.