Boston, MA – You know the overused, borderline humorous saying “do you have tickets to the gun show?”, which is then typically accompanied by some douchebag flexing their muscles? Well, Red is literally back from the gun show, and he has a shiny, brand new gun to prove it. That’s what I love about Red. He says he’s going to do something and just does it. “I’m going to run an ultra-marathon.” I know, that sounds moderately pointless, but there he was just two weeks ago jogging through the desert. Then he said “I’m going to get a pistol called ‘The Judge’ that shoots shotgun shells. That way if I call 911 and they ask me for the location of the intruder I’ve killed, I can say ‘his body is slumped under my window, and his head went over my neighbors fence.” I mean, that’s just Red being Red. What you see is what you get, and if you don’t like it, he’ll blow you away. In case you missed his blog yesterday about Muslims and Jihad running wild in the streets of Disney, you can read that here. In the spirit of that Disney magic, here is a perfectly safe for work joke and I encourage you to use it today. If you want to maximize the “LOL” factor, try to do an impression of Donald or Mickey as you tell it:
“What do you call it when Donald Duck and his friends jerk off all over Mickey’s face?”
“Bu-Quack-ee!”
Which brings us to today’s Wednesday Wouldya? This was inspired by true events and Red’s Olympic recap blog about Nadzeya Ostapchuk, a female/male shot putter from Belarus who was disqualified from the Olympics and had to forfeit his/her gold medal for doping. Could a case be made the IOC opted to use “doping” as the scapegoat because that would be an easier pill for the world to swallow than “it turns out the female contestant has a dick”? Absolutely. Per usual, I will hesitantly get us started and let you know how I voted, so, here we go…..drumroll…..I would. Yep, I know, shocker. Granted, a prostate massage is definitely out of the question for fear it would go elbow deep and use me to put on some kind of hairy puppet show. And, yes, yes, the fact it kind of looks like she’s the lead singer of AC/DC certainly has it’s obvious drawbacks. But, you haven’t had sweet nothings panted into your ear until you’ve had husky Belarusian sweet nothings. And, technically, she was once the proud owner of a gold medal, which makes her famous, and that’s good enough for me.
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Dude, I can’t believe you brought this in for todays wouldya lol. You already know my vote
I had to. HAD to.
Somewhere out there, someone is nailing that thing. What happens in Belarus stays in Belarus.
With the lights out. Lots of Vodka there.
“Excuse me, is that a penis in your shorts or are you a female athlete that’s really a male?”
This is what happens when chicks do mens sports- they look like dudes. They should keep their fem stuff by keeping to sports like shoe buying Obama voting and pole smoking. All three is the triathlon.
The female swimmers have broad shoulders that remind me of Dick Butkus.
That dude looks like an athletic version of Stevie from Eastbound and Down.
Pretty sure it’s Zack Galifanakis w/o the beard…
So far I’ve read zach g., Stevie, meatloaf and maybe the dude from ac/dc….all awful ways to describe a chick.