Wednesday Wouldya, Midnight Express Edition

She said that after she was sentenced, she contemplated suicide.  The prison is called the ‘Big Tiger’ by Thais because ‘it eats those on the inside’.  During her decade at the prison, she would often sleep next to prisoners with tuberculosis, leprosy, pink eye and various other rashes and infections. 

But her story does have a happy ending. After she was extradited to the United States on December 6, 2002, she gave that same boyfriend a call.  He was the one person who told her not to go to Thailand. An eight-hour phone call lead to a nine-year marriage.

Obvious question, and I know you’re all thinking it, so I’m going to say/write it:  10 f8cking years in a Thai torture prison, and not one pound shed?  Either the “Eat Less” diet is bullshit (it’s not) or I’m not getting the whole story here.  Don’t get me wrong, this prison would eat me up and shit me out the other end, but it does make me raise an eyebrow.  And what about that dude who dumped her, told her not to go smuggle drugs, then marries her 10 years later, knowing full well that she might have leprosy and “various other rashes and infections?”  “Various.  Other.  Rashes.”  No thanks.  But National Geographic did a story about her, so I guess it has to be true. 

Would I leave the US to smuggle drugs out of the Far East?  Hell no, I saw Midnight Express.  Would I marry this lady a decade after she skipped town?  I doubt it – I haven’t forgotten about the VORs.  But would show her my Big Tiger while she was still in the can?  Despite my misgivings about the details of this story, of course I ”would.”  Can you imagine the conjugal visits at this joint?  Insanity.  Plus a great story to tell.  I’d have either walked out of there triumphant, or humiliated that a) I couldn’t please 50 willing women at once and b) my dick fell off from leprosy. 

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