"RUN BRAD!"
Boston, MA – I’ve been fortunate to meet a few famous people in my life. From John Ritter, to Fox25′s Gene Lavanchy, I’ve bumped into varying levels of celebrity, even pausing to rub elbows a few times. Perhaps my favorite encounter was with Annie Leibovitz. She is widely recognized as one of the best photographers in the world, an achievement some take lightly because anyone can simply point a camera at something and push a button. At the time, I was dating a plus-sized model who really gave it everything she had when giving oral. I swear, sometimes you’d think she was going to pull your balls through your dick. You know how heavy girls can get after it. Anyway, she invited me to a shoot, and I’m backstage at the craft services table, just standing there trying to decide on a bagel. I grab the last ‘everything’ bagel, and Annie comes over and puts her hand on the bagel one second after I did. Now, I’m a gentleman, but, a bagel is a bagel like a parking spot is a parking spot. She goes “I’m sorry, I had my eye on this bagel.”
Me: “I love everything bagels, too. Since this one is gone, maybe you’d like to slip into something a little more comfortable, like that Sesame bagel?”
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Annie: “I’m sorry. I just finished up a really exhausting shoot. I meant to come over earlier and, you know, set this bagel aside. It’s a process I have. Before the shoot, a glass of grapefruit juice and a cigarette. Then after the shoot, I have an everything bagel, with smoked salmon, lowfat cream cheese, and a light sprinkle of capers.”
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Me: “Well, before an exhausting shoot, certainly, I could see how you would want to follow your typical routine. Maybe some juice combined with the cigarette helps steady your hand, or, see light a certain way or whatever. I will have to disagree with you on the ‘after’ part though, because at this point the shoot is over. Your body has no idea what’s coming next, so, I mean, you could just have a slice of pizza or maybe take a nap. You know?”
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Annie: “I’m sorry, who are you?”
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Me: “I’m Martin Munson.”
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Annie: “Nice to meet you, Martin. I’m Annie Leibovitz. This? (holds out arms and pivots body, looking around) All of this that you see around you? The staging, the lighting, the camera, the assistants? All of it is mine.”
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Me: “Nice to meet you, Annie. I’m Martin Munson. This? (Holds up bagel) All of this bagel that you see in my hand? The top half, the bottom half, the dried garlic and onion bits, poppy and sesame seeds? All of it is mine.”
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Annie: “My god, you really are a prick.”
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Me: “Well, maybe, but I’m a prick with a really good bagel.”
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Golfing?
?
I thought maybe you mailed this one in from the golf course. (repeat)
I laughed at both of these comments and I don’t know why.
I’m generally not an Angelina fan, but after viewing her butt crack the tide is turning.
Her kids remind me of Bennetton commercials.
http://jeffzelaya.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/united_colors_of_benetton_Diversity_Marketing.jpg
Don’t be fooled (unless you want to be), that picture was taken 10 years ago.
Ethan Hawke!
Ethan F’ng Hawke.