Boston, MA – Well, the people have spoken. By a unanimous vote of 9-3, in favor of “show us your armpit”, here is the picture of my armpit. Also, happy to report that in yesterday’s video (scroll down), two of the five people swept over that waterfall actually survived. Talk about a lifetime trump card to one-up anybody. “Oh, you were in a car accident? Oh, your house got foreclosed on? Oh, you went bungie jumping? Well, I got flushed off the side of a mountain, falling 6 miles and lived to tell about it after riding 3 dead bodies like a toboggan.” Anyway, my armpits are a hot mess, and I don’t know if the picture does it any justice but they feel like a pussy that’s been destroyed by mosquitoes.
"Matted nest of bumps, clogged pores, and Right Guard bits"
Oh. Now I wish I had voted differently.