Boston, MA – Can’t wait to get my ass up to North Conway this Winter and pay $70 to slide my shit over ice and gravel! YEAH! Don’t be trying to sneak up there on a Friday neither, them niggas be chargin’ full price like it the weekend! I go in there and say “Damn, this shit is Friday. Ain’t no discount today? This day belong as part of the workweek,” and they was like “pssht, naw, dawg, we got 16 weekends to make our moneys at. The weekend begin and end when we say. Shit. Maybe we say the weekend start on Wednesday, then we be wrapping that shit up next Tuesday. That the new policy right there. Seven day money makin’ motherfuckin’ weekend.” They got me by my big black balls up in the 603. What you gonna do, ski at Wachusett? I’ve put my dick between tits bigger than Wachusett. And don’t be giving me no shit about no Vermont. That shit is like a 6 hour car ride from here. You may as well go two more hours and see you some pussy in Montreal. At least you warm and cozy, plus, you seein’ pussy. And why all the hard ski trails be called “Black Diamonds?” Why not “White Diamonds”, and don’t say because Liz Taylor perfume got that shit trademarked. That shit is racial.
(p.s. 2:15 is my favorite part)