Boston Herald – T police are asking for the public’s help in tracking down a man they say exposed himself to a woman on a Red Line train. The man — appearing to doze off on a T car in a photo provided by police — allegedly pulled off the act on July 20, though police only released a statement seeking help in identifying him today. Police say that around 11 a.m., the man exposed himself to a woman on a northbound Red Line train between the Park Street and MGH stations, then masturbated. While the female victim hopped off the train on Harvard Square, the suspect stayed on, police said. He is described as a white male, standing between 5-foot-4 and 5-foot-6, with gray hair and a mustache. It’s unclear who snapped the photo police released or when the alleged act was reported to police.
Well, what else can you say, you sir, are an Anonymous Meat Pounder. But, not for long. Someone has to know who this Jackmeister is. Based on the picture, we can deduce that he is a Red Sox fan, possibly of Danish descent who favors a broom handle moustache and is equipped with what appears to be a preposterous amount of cockmeat. It’s either that, or his khaki shorts are two sizes too small. Either way, even I have to admit that 11am is a little early to be pounding your meat in public. It is interesting to note, however, that this is not your typical Meat Pounder in the News story. What concerns me is that this happened way back on July 20th, and now here we are, the day after everyone changed their Facebook profile pictures to the World Trade Centers. This is all it takes now to get your ass arrested? A picture of you sleeping and one so-called witness with no other evidence? Unless she or the MBTA has photos or video of this guy pounding his meat between stops or a collected swab of Dutch jism launch, there is no way they get these charges to stick. Sure, pun intended. Before I can make any determinations of guilt or innocence, I would like to review said video to see, a.) how hot this chick is, because there may be no bigger compliment paid to a woman than “I simply cannot wait to get home to jerk off to you so I am going to do it right here and right now”, and b.) I would like to observe her behavior as she exits the train, in terms of did she run for her and her pussy’s life, or did she simply walk away? For now, we will just have to wait until the cops capture him after releasing this APB (Alleged Pound Bulletin.) Do stay tuned.