She’s going to take on Wall Street! She’s going to take on Big Oil! (how did that work out for JFK?) She’s for middle class America! She’s 1/32 part Cherokee! She sold her BMW and bought an American hybrid 3 months before running for office! She submitted someone else’s recipes to a cookbook and claimed them as her own! She made a mistake on her job application to Harvard and selected the wrong ethnic background! The error just so happened to classify her as a minority which helped her get the $350,000 a year job! Whoops a daisy! She railed against predatory banks and heartless foreclosures, and yet, she herself purchased foreclosed homes and flipped them for profit! She’s Elizabeth Warren and I think she would make a great Senator because Mickey’s Wards first boxing coach says so while throwing slow-motion uppercuts during her nauseating, pandering, never-ending TV ads!
Which brings us to the Wednesday Wouldya? Guys, wouldya nail her? Girls, would you get drunk and silly and strap one on by accident and let her have it you know where? Per usual, I’ll go ahead and start us off and let you know how I voted, so, here we go….drumroll……I would. Yep, I know, shocker. For a moment, I didn’t know if I could get past the fact she resembles the guy on the side of the Dutch Boy paint can. And, even though one, no, make that two of my prerequisites are perfectly round boobers to mash against while I’m hammering away, I honestly do not know if she has them. I did a Google search for “Elizabeth Warren Unleashed Gravy Cannons” but came back with 0 results. If anyone can find one, please link it in the comments section. Anyway, I would, just because she would simultaneously allow me to check off “famous chick” and “vampire” from my “who do I want to nail before I die?” list.
(Please send this to everyone you work with, and remember to be respectful of others as you cast your vote below whether or not you would nail Elizabeth.)