As many facebook users know, faceshots can be deceiving...
Yahoo: Lawyers for a 480-pound death row inmate in Ohio say their client is too overweight to be put to death.
“Indeed, given his unique physical and medical condition there is a substantial risk that any attempt to execute him will result in serious physical and psychological pain to him, as well as an execution involving a torturous and lingering death,” reads the filing made on behalf of Ronald Post, 53, who was convicted of shooting to death hotel clerk Helen Vantz 29 years ago.
Post, who is set to be executed by lethal injection on January 16, 2013, says that his executioners would encounter several problems, including difficulty finding a viable vein for injection and the likelihood that with his unusual weight he would break any gurney used in the process.
Gang, you know that your old pal Red is nothing if not an advocate for fat out of shape slobs like this proven killer Mr. Post. But can we get off the f-ing crazy train for a minute? We’re not allowed to call people “fat,” we’re not allowed to encourage people to get fat by serving them large drinks with sugar in them, we’re not even allowed to charge people extra when their girth spills over into the next f-ing airplane seat. And NOW, they want us to forego killing them by lethal injection. Because they’re too fat. Fat. Because of a “unique physical and medical condition.” I’ve got news for you, it ain’t that unique, you fat f*ck. You know who had a not-so-unique physical and medical condition? Helen Vantz. She was deathly allergic to getting shot. So sit down in that chair and take your medicine, f-er, or we can drop you in a hole & shoot you in the head.
Well, were I the lawyer repping the the State of Ohio I would argue the following….
“Okay, I’ll give you that this fat fuck could die a slow and painful death by standard lethal injection and we won’t get into the moral pros and cons of that at this time. Let’s assume the right thing to do is give him a swift and as pain free a death as possible. We’ve got a couple of options here. We could load those bags up with enough drugs to put a bull elephant down in about 30 seconds but if you don’t approve of that, then consider this. A firing squad comprised of 12 shooters armed with Browning A-Bolt 338″s. They are loaded with 250 grain Nosler Partitions. They pull the trigger and BANG, FLOP!!! Believe me, he won’t feel a thing. Problem solved. He feels no pain, you feel no guilt (wink, wink) and the State starts saving beaucoup money cuz that fat fuck didn’t make it to 480 pounds eating lightly and exercising in the prison yard”.
Anyhow, that’s how I would argue this.
were I the judge: “Approved!”
ps: “…load up those bags w/ enough drugs…”
I bet they are dying to try that…
BTW, is that fucker wearing lipstick?????
Easy problem to solve . They will need to get the Guiness Book guys there cause we are going for a world record. Seat fatty down at the table. Bring on the buffalo wings–and lots of them–Heaping plates of hotter than a motherfucker wings. No water. Make that fat fuck eat those wings until his douche bag head bursts open from the heat!
Burn him at the stake, or chop his head off.
Curley says he would rather have a hot steak than a cold chop any day.
Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk
“any attempt to execute him will result in serious physical and psychological pain to him”…..?
Ya, no shit…..that fat f@ck will he dead.
That does sound serious…