Boston, MA – It is rumored that Patriots and Dunkin’ Donuts Star Tight End Rob Gronkowski thought the Wonderlic Test was to see how long it takes to finish a Tootsie Pop. While he’ll never be mistaken for a Road Scholar, Rob was kind enough to share his personal journal with us which he wrote on the sidelines during the game.
“Dahhh. Gronk had fun on plane. Gronk pulls shade down, then pulls shade up, then pulls shade down, then pulls shade up. Gronk makes it look like he’s watching a cartoon in the clouds. Haha. Gronk. Gronk hopes Tom Brady throws the ball to him today. Gronk spent two weeks practicaming and practicaming a new spike dance. Gronk forgets that word when you memorize something over and over until Gronk remembers it. Dah. Gronk hopes we win game 45-7 over the Rams to set European interest in the NFL back two decades. LOL. Uh-oh, what’s this? Gronk’s penis is wet! Game must be over! Let me look down at Little Gronk to see why things are wet this time. Oh, game is definitely over now that some girl has Gronk’s penis in her mouth. Gronk likes having his penis wet. Gronk remembers having a dry penis. Gronk no like that. That was before Gronk got to the University of Arizona. Wet penis makes Gronk feel alive. Penis usually gets extra wet after a win but regular wet penis still makes Gronk feel pretty okay after a loss. Patriots and Gronk must have won this game because Gronk remembers two spikes and Little Gronk started like this 8==D but is now 8========D and is extra wet from two mouths. This makes for Happy Gronk. Uh-oh. Gronk has to go, it feels like Little Gronk is about to dump his white Gatorade. ”