"Hi, I died in a roach eating contest"
MIAMI (AP) — A contestant in a roach-eating contest who downed dozens of live bugs and worms collapsed and died shortly after winning the contest in South Florida, authorities say. About 30 contestants ingested the insects during Friday night’s contest at Ben Siegel Reptile Store in Deerfield Beach about 40 miles north of Miami. The grand prize was a python.
Edward Archbold, 32, of West Palm Beach became ill shortly after the contest ended and collapsed outside the store, according to a Broward Sheriff’s office statement released Monday. He was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. Authorities were awaiting results of an autopsy to determine a cause of death. The sheriff’s office said none of the other contestants fell ill. There was no updated phone number listed for Archbold in West Palm Beach.
“We feel terribly awful,” said store owner Ben Siegel, who added that Archbold did not appear to be sick before the contest.
“He looked like he just wanted to show off and was very nice,” Siegel said, adding that Archbold was “the life of the party.”
Boston and Miami – This story is almost too good to be true. Do I wish there was a better picture of this bug eater? Yeah, I do, but don’t blame me, blame MyFoxBoston. But, this has everything you want in your morning blog (besides cleavage.) Pythons. Rednecks. Dying after winning a roach eating contest. Puns. Oxymorons. Zingers. You name it. Let’s review:
First things first, why is anyone looking for a dead guy’s phone number? He’s not home anymore. Second, did the reporter find an old phone number and try it? Spoiler alert: no answer there, either. I mean, what is the point of looking for an updated phone number? “We found an updated phone number, but as you can imagine, we got voicemail.”
Next, is there a more redundant statement than “We feel terribly awful”? Keeping in mind this is the south, and a quote from the owner of a reptile store that was giving away a python to the person that could eat the most insects. Plus, the guy that came in second place, typically referred to as the first loser? Double victory! He ate less insects than dead guy but still won by default and lives to tell about it. He’ll probably embellish and say he stepped over the body to claim the python, but this is the one time where you obviously cannot say the victory tastes sweet.
Finally, I don’t know how you read that last quote of the story without bursting into an lol. I understand he’s trying to say something nice about the guy, probably to appease the next of kin (and perhaps a subtle attempt to defuse the lawsuit he’ll be hit with tomorrow), but how do you say “he was the life of the party” with a straight face when the guy just “died at the party”? Everyone that knows me knows my biggest fear besides prison is leaving behind a comical obituary, and it doesn’t get any more comical than “died eating bugs while trying to win a free snake.”
