LOL, I Guess Lance Armstrong’s Pretty Much Effed?

"They didn't see us?" "Don't think so. But put your shorts back on just in case."

SI.com:  The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency says 11 of Lance Armstrong’s former teammates testified against him in its investigation of the cyclist, revealing “the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen.”  USADA will deliver its reasoned decision against Armstrong later Wednesday, a summary of the facts it used to hand him a lifetime suspension and erase his seven Tour de France titles.

USADA CEO Travis Tygart said it would include more than 1,000 pages of evidence. He listed 11 of Armstrong’s former teammates, including George Hincapie, Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton, as among those providing evidence that led to the sanction.

[effeminate cockney accent] This deposition goes to eleven. 

“You talk about” (kill me for using that phrase) piling on.  1000 pages?  Come on guys, it’s over.

Or is he f*cked?  Who cares about this sh1t?  Do I care about this?  Do you?  Does he?  I think no.  What’s the consequence here?  He’s already famous, he’s made millions, you KNOW he’s got groupies hanging all over him wherever he goes, and he’s run naked all over god’s baptizing loving green earth with his bff Matty McCon-ah-hey.  So if it were me, “who give a shit, ban me motherf8ckers, I did what I came to do, and that’s jizz all over the likes of George Hincapie, Floyd Landis, and Tyler Hamilton.”

Also does Lance only have one ball?  Or zero?  I’m not judging, just curious.

Sheryl Crow if she was a ripped dude?