Mia Tivoli Tuesday

"Boing"

Boston, MA – It’s not even important to know how Twitter works. A couple of computer dork engineers went into a room and said “Let’s make a social media app that doesn’t suck its’ own balls like Facebook”, and Twitter was born. Twitter is kind of like getting text messages from strangers who want to tell you about an event, sell you a product, or, in this case, show you their tits. So, however it works, one thing lead to another and now I follow Mia Tivoli. While I don’t believe it should be considered pornography, I will admit, I have seen a still photo Tweet by Mia that had a caption so romantically poetic that it almost brought a tear to the tip of my penis. It said, simply, “Plastered in cum by Mr. Tivoli.” In the picture, she had indeed been completely shellacked by what appears to have been a gallon of Mr. Tivoli’s jism, and that’s just this blogger’s best guesstimate. I honestly don’t know how else you could measure volume like that unless you maybe had a Pyrex beaker nearby. She was so covered it reminded me of Neo in “The Matrix” when he wakes up in that fucked up pod filled with goop. Mr. Tivoli is apparently very healthy.

Anyway, Twitter is the best thing to ever happen, and if you’re not using it you risk being left behind in the technological stone age like my caveman of a father. He still thinks InstaGram is a place where single grandparents go to quickly meet online. Follow Mia Tivoli on Twitter HERE. See her hanging out with some other hot chick at the Patriots game HERE then flashing her nipple in the stadium HERE.

Are they real or fake? Who cares, you don’t lick the insides. Safe For Work. Safe For Everywhere. Mia Tivoli.

"My eyes are up here, but my awesome gravy bags are down there"