Boston, MA – Yay! Mrs. Munson gave me the Flu! She won’t admit it, but there’s no other way around it: She caught the Flu, then hacked and wheezed all over the god damn joint, probably including on my iPad2. Then she had the gall to say “Maybe we shouldn’t kiss goodnight because I don’t want to give you the Flu.” Oh really? Well, it’s a little bit late for that, Sweet Tits. Her germs must have been making love all over the house because her bacteria is everywhere. I’m surprised the bathroom doesn’t have stalagmites made out of her mucus. Needless to say, it hasn’t really been a hotbed of romance around the Munson household. Under normal circumstances, I’d be slightly embarrassed to get caught masturbating, but she walked in and found me putting lotion all over my crank in that fun way that makes it tickle, and I said honestly “I’m only doing this because I thought it would help with my fever!”
Anyway, I spent my New Year’s Eve sampling her cough syrup with codeine and being disappointed at Fergie’s lack of cleavage. Here are just a few samples of those tweets. Look what you have or have not been missing out on! Follow us here @wickedimproper
“sweet tits”….lol every time .