"Hahaha! I'm free!!! Wait a sec. Why am I still awake?"
CBS: A 93-year-old Kansas City man has been charged with killing his 95-year-old wife in what investigators are calling a homicide and attempted suicide. Police have not said how Grace Irwin died. Paramedics who were called to the couple’s home around 6:30 a.m. Wednesday found her in bed, with blood on her head.
A paramedic told police Harry Irwin was unresponsive in a chair, with blood on his shirt and arms. The paramedic says Irwin regained consciousness and said he had killed his wife and himself, then asked, “Why am I awake?”
According to The Kansas City Star, court records state that Harry Irwin – who was married for 70 years to Grace Irwin – [said] he killed his wife because “she was arguing and screaming at him all night and he couldn’t take it anymore.”
Well, Harry, you’re awake because you’re a f-ing idiot when it comes to hari kari. I guess if there’s one thing Grace was right about, it’s that you’re a lazy son of a bitch who doesn’t follow through on his responsibilities. She might have been a nag for SEVEN DECADES, but that doesn’t mean she was wrong about you, you good for nothing bastard you.
Wasn’t there a guy named Hari Kari (pun intended) that broadcast for the Cubs? Heard he died a slow, painful death having been ball dragged by a billy goat on his deathbed.
I think you’re right. Although I don’t know how painful his death was, since he pickled himself with Jack Daniels…
I wonder if anyone’s used “Hairy Kerry” as a porn name.