Boston, MA – Hallo, Gov’nah! Anyone else going to watch “The Taste”, premiering tonight at 9 on ABC? No, you neither? Well, there could very well be two reasons to tune in (see above.) Me and my dick, sorry, “my dick and I” (there, are you happy) first discovered Nigella on the Food Network a couple of years ago, and it has been slowly massaging balls to her soothing English accent and preposterous cleavage ever since. They are big. That’s all I know. I should point out that I also like flat girls, but, you know, not like that. We could just be friends, only. So, the question remains, “wouldya?” Now, per usual, I’ll go ahead and start us off and let you know how I voted….drumroll….I would. Yep, I know, shocker. But whether she’s making a raspberry tart, or holding up beaters while I play a depth perception game from my couch so it looks like she’s licking chocolate grenache from my helmet, I will admit that I’m smitten. So, all kidding aside, I will be DVR’ing “The Taste” and fast forwarding to the parts where Nigella has to show cleavage because it’s natural, and also because it’s in the contract. Please cast your vote below, but have some respect for others’ feelings as you decide whether or not you would penetrate Nigella. Bon appetit!