Oh, good luck working those pedals with high heels.
We were the first to break the Lance Armstrong blood doping scandal well after the major news outlets had done so. Still, for some of you that found out here, the news that Lance was basically drinking donkey blood from a cowboy boot to help him pedal a bike really fast was quite a shock. Here are our Top Tweets about Lance appearing on Oprah to tell the world what it already knew. Cast your vote for your favorite below. Like the Tour de France, this poll has no point whatsoever.
1. Oprah: “Lance, this has to be a very dark period for you. Speaking of dark periods, Gayle King and I are on the same cycle. Sure, pun intended.”
2. Why doesn’t Lance try ball doping?
3. When Lance said he “felt isolated” and “in a dark place”, Oprah must have thought about her own past inside Gayle King’s pussy.
4. Lance tells Oprah “the doping process is very similar to when Eric Northman feeds on True Blood.”
5. Sheryl Crow was with Lance ‘before’ he got his ball removed, so everybody stop saying that she can only teabag one ball at a time.
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If I believed in reincarnation, but I don’t, I’d want to be that bicycle seat.