Boston, MA – Well, nothing like massive quantities of alcohol coupled with a Country Music festival to bring out the true colors of a racist! In retrospect from one sentence ago, massive quantities of alcohol and country music is pretty redundant, no? Anyway, Riley Cooper, for all seven of you reading this that maybe didn’t know, plays wide receiver for the Philadelphia Eagles. For those of you that don’t know what that is, he’s just a guy who runs around on a field and tries to catch a stupid fucking oblong-shaped ball in front of 70,000 morons who voluntarily risk hypothermia to watch grown men chase each other. Believe it or not, just by having that one skill, plus the other skill of having $6 million in the bank, Riley is able to simply “open sesame” women’s legs (and mouths, etc.) So, even though he says the dreaded “N” word in the video below, as sure as you and I sit in our cubes on mashed up balls, vaggies and taints all day, Riley is out there somewhere right now, just casually popping his dick back and forth between an assortment of willing and hopefully female mouths. It just goes to show that women want to be near fame, even if the closest they’ll ever get to it is having it splash across their face, and quite frankly, that should sadden us all.
(This blog is rated NC-17. No children under 17 should have read this blog. If children under 17 have read this because the Wicked Improper rating system came ‘after’ the blog, please share us with your social network. If you are not in the mood to hear the ‘n’ word right now, simply tune into any hip hop station at your leisure.)