ABC: The man who helped Amanda Berry and two other women escape the house where they had spent 10 years locked up against their will has spoken about the moment he helped rescue them. Charles Ramsey was eating a McDoanld’s when he heard a woman screaming from his neighbour’s house in Cleveland, Ohio, and went to investigate.
“No! ‘Cause I’da pulled this hero sh – stuff last year!”
Charles Ramsey Ladies and Gents!
Every Shape and Size
Why don't we take a spin in my convertible, and see what other top we can take off?
Yahoo: Bob Russell could not be blamed for losing hope that he would reunite with his 1967 Austin-Healey. Stolen outside his Philadelphia apartment 42 years ago, the British roadster seemed a lost cause. When Russell, then a graduate student at Temple University, returned home the morning after a date with his future wife, his car was nowhere to be found. For decades since, he searched for his beloved ride in vain.
On a recent eBay session, though, his luck changed: the cream-colored car was listed for auction by a Los Angeles car dealer, with a final bid of $19,700. Russell, who now lives near Dallas, knew the car was his because its vehicle identification number (VIN) matched the one on the title he kept since the theft.
“I’m not trying to sound indelicate, but you’re selling my car,” Russell told the dealer.
Let’s ignore the fact that this guy basically stole twenty large from a reputable car dealer who is just trying to make an honest buck and who could not possibly have known that it was stolen four f-ing decades ago. What kind of a-hole goes to college with a brand-new Austin Healy? Some d1ck who would also use the word “indelicate,” that’s who.
Six large well spent.
CBS LA: Honesty wasn’t a lesson learned by one San Gabriel Valley Girl Scout troop leader who was reportedly caught with her hand in the cookie jar — literally. South El Monte/El Monte Troop leader Ana Isabel Juarez, 30, was arrested on April 17 for allegedly using her Girl Scout debit card to treat herself [to $6,000], according to the Arcadia Police Department. “It was just shocking to see that we became her own personal piggy bank: gas, nails, Nordstroms, Victoria’s Secret,” said troop co-leader Verna de los Reyes.
Hmm, close one, but looking at Verna’s list of Ana’s items, I’m going to have to say they’re all necesseary for a cougar on the prowl. And as such, I think I’m going to have to allow it. But I’d like an itemized list of what she really bought.
I don’t want to go into too too many details, but I know my way around a Victorias Secret store. And believe me, if you’re lucky enough to find more than a handful of things that actually fit you (we can have a separate discussion on properly fitting undergarments), you’re not going to spend more than $500 to $1000, even if you go overboard on duplicate thongs, which is a good idea, because they can go south pretty quick. So I think it’s safe to say that we’re not getting the whole story. Judging by what they did report, I’d like to think that she has a whole new collection of sex toys. Matter of fact I’m thinking about that right now. :-O
ps- is there any question that this kind of thing happened? It was inevitable when you merged El Monte Girl Scouts with South El Monte. Cats and dogs, people. What did you think? Of course you’re going to have the South El Monte Cougar Brigade (SEMCB) calling the El Monte House Fraus “piggies.” (Verna’s word, not mine)
"This is your Captain speaking. If I was the button for the landing gear, where would I be?"
Boston, MA and in the waters off Cape Cod – Well, it only took 12 years for the lowest of the lowly vampires to present itself, but here we are. JFK Jr’s former assistant, RoseMarie Terenzio has “come forth” with a new book titled “Fairy Tale Interrupted”, which details his final moments. It’s nice of this vampire walking among us to reveal something that she herself was not present for. She’s going to tell you that Junior “died doing something he loved”, and, of course, one should understand from the context that means “the spiritual freedom and control one feels when flying a plane” as opposed to, you know, “panicking and hitting buttons, screaming for help that’s not coming, and belly flopping a twin-engine cessna into the Atlantic.” The unfortunate thing about this money-grubbing writer is, she can take creative liberties with the final moments because there was no black box onboard. Of course, it should be noted that I’m taking about the indestructible recording device installed in most cockpits, and not that notorious snatch, Naomi Campbell, who once dated John John.
I can’t begin to imagine how you’re going to dedicate an entire book to someone’s final moments, unless the book is one page long. I could save us all a lot of money ($29.95 for hardcover, $14.95 for paperback, or $0.00 from the Pirate Bay before SOPA passes) by telling you the story right now. The following is a dramatization of the final moments aboard the flight to Camelot:
JFK Jr: (looking under seat) “I can’t find that god damn corkscrew.”
Carolyn: “OMG, when we get back to Hyannis, I am so going shopping. SHOPPING!”
Sister: “SHOPPING!”
JFK Jr: “Hey…hold my wine for a sec. You guys wanna see me fly the plane with my dick?”
The End.
(Note: While there were various rumors following the crash, it has been vehemently denied that someone spotted Uncle Teddy swimming away from the wreckage.)
I promised I wouldn’t rail on about SOPA/PIPA again, but this is the kind of information you won’t have access to if those laws pass. Did you know that the FAA released documents that show 1 in 10 single engine crashes are a result of “pilot was showing off to passengers by trying to fly the plane with his testicles”? Google that, I dare you. Time is running out, friends. If those laws go over, the information you have access to will be the information the government wants you to see. File under: Nothing.
The mainstream media and this awful book may never get around to asking the important questions like Wicked Improper, so we’ll ask it for them: Where did the undertaker find a 9-piece suit to bury John in?
Boston, MA – We’d like to ask our readers to please stop what you’re doing and look around to see if you can find this person’s thumb drive. Did you try under your keyboard? If you actually find this guy’s thumb drive, please call him at the number you see posted. There is a reward, so you know it has to have some pretty important shit on there. Or, if you’d rather have a little fun at someone else’s expense, feel free to put your own zany post-it note on there like me.
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