Brother can you spare a diiiime?
Not my fault!
NBC sports anchor Bob Costas channeled his inner Edward R. Murrow and Howard Cosell during halftime of last night’s Sunday Night Football game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Dallas Cowboys, calling for stricter gun control in the wake of Saturday’s murder-suicide involving Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher.
‘In the coming days, Jovan Belcher’s actions and their possible connection to football will be analyzed. Who knows? But here, wrote Jason Whitlock, is what I believe. If Jovan Belcher didn’t possess a gun, he and Kasandra Perkins would both be alive today.”
Bob Costas thinks that, were it not for the fact that Jovan Belcher owned a gun, he and his girlfriend would be alive now. I’m not going to argue gun rights here. (But if he had any balls he’d just come out and say “We should ban all guns from existence and give Iran the list of gun owners in the United States.”) My question is, whatever happened to fucking (spelled out) personal responsibility? Here are a few details I’ve gleaned from various sources about this very sad story:
1. Jovan Belcher had money problems.
2. Jovan Belcher had a three-month old baby with his girlfriend.
3. Jovan Belcher drove a Rolls fing Royce.
4. Jovan Belcher spent some of the night before he murdered his significant (arguable) other getting drunk with another woman. Or women, hard to tell.
5. For at least part of the night before he became a murderer, Jovan Belcher slept in his Rolls Royce, parked outside this other woman’s house.
6. Jovan Belcher was paid approximately $1 million (pre tax, probably pre-vampire-agent) over the previous three years.
7. Jovan Belcher secured a $1.9 million (ptppva) contract to play for the Chiefs this year.
8. Chiefs management knew about some of JB’s problems before he murdered someone.
9. Jovan Belcher owned at least one and possibly a bunch of guns. (legally from what I understand)
All of those details, and Bobby “I ruined the Olympics for millions of fans” Costas decides that the most significant item is his ownership of guns? That reminds me of the times when a newspaper article says “An SUV today plowed into a bunch of nuns at a soup kitchen and killed them all.” Oh really? An SUV did that? No driver? No responsible human had anything to do with that?
I grew up in some pretty f-ed up fundamentally religious foreign countries. In one of those, if an expatriate got into a car accident with a foreign national, and it was the FN’s fault, the defense would be – and I’m not sh1tting you here – “The accident would never have happened if you weren’t living in our country. Case dismissed.” And then the expat would be deported back to the States or whatever country he* was from. Same deal when a young American girl was raped by a foreign national while I was there: “Oh, you shouldn’t have been here, then it wouldn’t have happened. Now get out of our country you dirty whore.”
When we excuse irresponsibility by foisting the blame onto inanimate objects or nebulous entities like “society” (or “god”), we wind up condoning decisions that lead to that behavior by implying that the people responsible for those actions are helpless to avoid them. But they’re not helpless, for chrissakes. A hundred (a thousand?) choices led him to that dark place, but we ignore those because it allows us to avoid more difficult questions.
Instead of excusing the behavior from your soapbox, Bob, why not challenge young men to step up: ”Be a f-ing man. Make choices that lead you to be proud of youself. Take responsibility for your decisions, even the wrong ones.”
F!
*Women couldn’t drive there.
Ba-dum-bum!
I’m here all week folks!
(Multiple wives???)
"Mickey Mouse is my god!"
(Reuters) – A former Disneyland restaurant employee sued Walt Disney Co on Monday for harassment and religious discrimination, saying she was fired because she wanted to wear a Muslim head scarf at work. Imane Boudlal, a 28-year-old Muslim, worked as a hostess at the Storytellers Cafe, a restaurant inside Disney’s Grand California Hotel & Spa at Disneyland in Anaheim, California, according to a complaint filed in federal court.
Two years into the job, Boudlal asked permission to wear a hijab, a head scarf worn by Muslim women, while at work. She said she offered to wear a scarf that matched the colors of her uniform or featured a Disney logo. According to her lawsuit, Disney managers denied her request, saying it would violate the company’s policy for how employees “look” while on the job. Among the restrictions, the policy prohibits visible tattoos and fingernails that exceed a quarter of an inch, the lawsuit said.
They’ve disparaged us, bombed us, beheaded us, called for our eternal damnation. Now Muslims want to ruin Disney for us. Well FUCK YOU. People go to Disney to escape the real world, not to get religion shoved in their faces. If they want to acheive a Body Mass Index of 35 and tool around the Magic Kingdom on their own personal Rascal, that’s their business, and Disney is there to let that happen. This is where dreams come true, stop trying to mess it up for the rest of us.
Do you think f*cking Sturbridge Village would allow some asshole to work there dressed as a Jedi Knight, or some tool from the late 1800′s? Hell no – it would ruin the 1790′s vibe.* And Disney isn’t going to let you dress like you’re from TomorrowLand if you’re working on god damned Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. It would totally spoil the illusion. So get with the motherfucking program, or get the f*ck out. This is a presentation, people, it’s not an entitlement, and let me make this perfectly clear: If you don’t want to be in the show, that’s fine, because you are an infinitessimally small part of it. They’ll get someone else who can defend the American Way and make me believe that I’m really flying high on a giant-eared elephant with a magical feather.
*Thank you Wikipedia
"I'm not just a famous musician, I'm also an author. Oh! You don't read? That's ok, my books are mostly pictures!"
First, I have noted dickhead and absolute poon smasher John Mayer giving me advice on how to raise my daughter. Now Jessica Simpson’s brother in law (ex?) Pete Wentz is writing children’s books in between cheating on Ashlee with Vegas strippers? F8ck. Off.
ps – you know who else is writing (and publishing) children’s books? Jaime Lee Curtis!
High waisted is how they did it back in the day.
"Can I interest you in a picture book, or perhaps some pudding to loosen your stool?"
"Confiscate the weapons. Let them keep their thongs."
Examiner: “Last week, the Obama Administration took its first major step in a long-range plan to ban firearms in the United States. The Obama Administration intends to force gun control and a complete ban on all weapons for US citizens through the signing of international treaties with foreign nations.”
By signing international treaties on gun control, the Obama administration can use the U.S. State Department to bypass the normal legislative process in Congress. Once the U.S. government signs these international treaties, all US citizens will be subject to those gun laws created by foreign governments, according to political consultant and attorney Michael S. Baker.
“The laws are designed and intended to lead to the complete ban and confiscation of all firearms,” according to Joan Sharon.
I don’t even know how to load a gun and even I know that giving foreign nations a list of US gun owners is a bad idea. Everybody who grew up during the pre cell phone era cold war knows that this is the first step to the annihilation of the United States. Actually it’s probably the fourth or fifth step. It goes like this:
Classic authoritarian maneuver, and presto, you’ve got yourself a firm grip on the neck of the sheep people!
Mar-KET! Bas-KET!
Fox: A mother who lost her 19-year-old son after a Border Patrol agent shot him in the back is suing the agency and the agent. Guadalupe Guerrero said Monday that the Border Patrol had no right to take her son’s life, even if he had marijuana in his truck as they say. “Why did they kill him? Who are they to play God?” Guerrero said in Spanish on what would have been her son’s 21st birthday.
A Border Patrol agent identified by police as Lucas Tidwell shot La Madrid three times — twice in the back and once in the thigh — as he climbed a ladder on the U.S.-Mexico border fence in southeastern Arizona on March 21, 2011. He was born [in Douglas] nearly 10 years after his mother came to the U.S. from Agua Prieta in the northeastern Mexican state of Sonora.
“I say he didn’t have drugs, but let’s suppose he did,” Guerrero said. “Let’s suppose he had 40 pounds of marijuana. You think that’s dangerous enough to kill a young boy, an American citizen? Why not send him to jail?” “That’s the only thing the United States government cares about — money,” she said.
A slightly deeper reading into the story will tell you that the agents found 48 pounds of weed in the trunk of this kid’s car. I’d round that to 50, she rounded down to 40, but whatever, since she maintains that he didn’t have any drugs. But let’s suppose he did, because, you know, he did. Now there are some sticky issues here, since it does seem a bit of a high price to pay for muling around a bunch of pot. On the other hand, 50 pounds? That’s a veritable sh1tload of weed. It’s not like he was scoring an ounce or two for his grandmother’s glaucoma, you know? Then there’s the issue of legality, since pot should probably already be legal. But it’s not, yet, so again, Mr. Anchor Baby Guerrero isn’t coming off as the cleanest of perps here.
But the real story, which will probably never surface, is with the mother. If I do the math right, Guadalupe has been in the United States for 31 years. I don’t know if she got in the country legally or not, but what I do get from the story is that in 31 years she has not bothered to learn English, developed a disdain for the US government (join the club, although I notice you’ve spent quite a lot of time here over the last three decades), and raised a 20 year old drug smuggler. I’d say that deserves a multi-million dollar payoff at the expense of legal taxpaying citizens everywhere, don’t you?
Boston, MA – I normally don’t get too political around here, but as someone that has a fairly high IQ (information quotient) I felt it was necessary to address the current state of America. It’s no bueno. There I was last night, among the savages at Market Basket, when literally all fucking hell broke loose. Two 4 year old Mexican jumping beans just running amok in the checkout line with no supervision whatsoever. Their two ‘mothers’ weren’t interested in using any of the same parenting skills and tlc our fathers used with us, such as “hey, will you SHUT THE FUCK UP already?”
Let me be clear, I am not calling for Civil War. I am not inciting a riot. Instead, I am asking you to hit Mexicans where it hurts the most. I am calling for all Americans to consider the following: No more pinata parties, no more Dora and Diego, no more shaking maracas, no quiero Taco Bell, no more Salsa dancing or even shaking your hips in latin fashion, no more late nights watching DVD’s of Mario Lopez doing naked sit-ups, and no more Major League Baseball. Of course, the other option for America is to sit back and joke about how Social Security is drying up and how illegals are “just doing jobs Americans don’t want.” LOL! YAY! As you commute to a job you hate and sit on your mashed up balls and vaggies all day, right NOW, these EBT cards that we’re all paying for with our tax dollars are helping those “less fortunate” fill two carriages with about $400 worth of prime grade beef, chicken, and (spoiler alert) Goya products up the ass.
Anyway, here’s the video from my trip to Market Basket last night. This is it. The future is here. Two shopping carts filled to the brim and squirting anchor babies onto the floor to live free, literally, in America forever. And please don’t ask me why I didn’t just go into the Express Line. I had 13 items, one more than is allowed and didn’t want to get Colombian Necktie’d in the parking lot.