Patrick Chung Indicted on Cocaine Charges But He Is Going To Be Fine

“Wasn’t Mine”

NY Post – New England Patriots safety Patrick Chung was indicted on Aug. 8 for cocaine possession, according to multiple reports, after knowingly possessing cocaine on June 25. “We are aware of the reports regarding Patrick Chung. We will not be commenting while his judicial proceedings take place,” the Patriots said in a statement.

Chung, 32, is scheduled for an arraignment next Wednesday.

Citing a source, Jim Murray of The Sports Hub in Boston tweeted that Chung’s home had an “alarm tripped for a B&E.” Murray wrote that police showed up at the home, had probable cause to enter and found cocaine, leading to the indictment. According to the Laconia Daily Sun, town records show Chung owns a lakeside home in Meredith, N.H.

Defendants are required to appear at arraignments, unless a request stating otherwise is granted. Cocaine possession is a Class B felony. It carries a prison term of up to seven years.

Two Spoiler alerts for you on this story: One, the Patriots will not be commenting while the judicial proceedings take place, but, they also aren’t going to be commenting after they take place, either. What would be the point? I mean, can you really imagine them saying “Well, we would love to talk about hoisting yet another championship banner to start the season, but first, who’s ready for an update on Patrick Chung’s coke fiasco?”

The second spoiler alert is, there is no way these charges are going to stick. If I’m his defense attorney, the first and only thing I’m going to say is “Your honor, the alarm went off at Patrick’s vacation home, which alerted local authorities of a potential breaking and entering. Given that Patrick wasn’t home at the time, one has to assume that the suspects dropped their cocaine, because the Patrick I know, of the world champion New England Patriots, would never do something like that.” 😉

Now, I watch a lot of Law & Order reruns, so I like to dramatize things a bit. My guess is, it won’t even get that far. Lawyers from both sides will meet in some back room (or maybe by FaceTime now?) and just say “Look, you can’t prove the coke is his”, and it will be broomed. If the prosecution decides to get cute and ask for videotape evidence from the home that night, simply use the Jeffrey Epstein prison tapes alibi, or as its’ legally called “Video Cameras Malfunctionus Due to Bribus Maximus.”

In closing, I feel sorry for Patrick Chung. One moment, he gets an alert that someone broke into his vacation house, and the next moment (or, unlike if this were to happen to you or I, a couple of weeks later), he’s getting indicted because someone left a little coca-een-ya behind. Message to Patrick’s friends (OR the breaking and entering suspects): This is a vacation home on a lake, you want to forget your flip flops here, a phone charger, etc., fine, but hey, could you do Patrick a favor and maybe take a second look around to see if you left something that carries a felony prison term and/or potentially contract nullifying substances lying around? Thanks.

In closing closing, I don’t believe Patrick Chung is a cocaine user, however, if he was, this would totally explain how he ran the 40 yard dash in 1.7 seconds.

Click one of these:

2 thoughts on “Patrick Chung Indicted on Cocaine Charges But He Is Going To Be Fine”

    1. haha!

      That reminds me, we haven’t played Death Toss in a while (the game where you throw bocci balls up in the air, and then everyone takes cover as the balls come raining back down.)

      Thanks for visiting!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *