Man Born With Two And A Half Feet Seeks Real Love

One Foot, Two Flip Flops

NY POSTA 21-year-old man born with nine toes on his left foot finally had the four extra digits surgically removed after a lifetime of living with the deformity. The man, who doctors identified only as Ajun, told news service Asia Wire that his parents were reluctant to do the surgery when he was a baby — since a fortune teller claimed the extra toes were “a gift from the heavens.”

Though he was able to walk, Ajun, a native of Lufeng City in South China’s Guangdong Province, spent his life ashamed to wear sandals. It impacted his social life and mental health. “I’ve never had a girlfriend because I’m so imperfect,” he said. “I never thought I’d find anyone who wants to be with me.”

“Other hospitals would’ve just removed his outermost extra toes,” his doctor, Wu Xiang said. “That would’ve been the easiest solution, but it wouldn’t look the best. His most natural looking toe is on the outside, so we decided to migrate it inwards to its most ideal position, replacing his fifth digit and creating a new big toe.”

But it was worth it. Ajun said he’s thrilled with the operation. He’ll recover in the hospital for a few more weeks. “I think my foot is perfect.”

I’m genuinely happy for Ajun. Up until this surgery, you couldn’t play “This little piggy went to the market” with this dude, otherwise you would have been there all damn day. You might actually lose count and have to start over again. “Then this little piggy went…god damn it, Ajun, stop moving your foot foot around.” I can’t even imagine what he went thru at the local nail salon, they must have had a special pricing menu like “Manicure: $30, Pedicure: $30, Ajun Pedicure: $45.”

It’s sad to think that even in Guangdong, bros are so self conscious about their abnormalities they feel like they can’t go out in public, meet babes, do the two step, etc. I honestly feel like he could have harnessed this special power to do great things. Can you even imagine his time trials in the 200 meter butterfly stroke with that flipper, just ripping thru the water like a torpedo? Or, how much of a beast he would be at Hacky Sack? You think the sacks gonna hit the ground today, nope, Ajun is keeping the action going all day and night with that dinner plate.

Anyway, he had the extra toes hacked off, and he’ll be able to wear regular shoes as he tracks down real love. Even though your foot is perfect now, don’t worry Ajun, a woman will still find something about you she needs to fix. I do find it rather curious there’s no mention in the story of where the other piece of that foot goes. Yeah, they toss it in a biohazard bin, I get it, but after that, then what? The incinerator? Maybe they should put it on ice in case someone comes thru the doors who only has half a foot, that way they can be like “wow, do I have some good news for you.”

As a public service announcement, with regards to child care, we would highly recommend you visit a medically trained physician. The only time you should visit a fortune teller is if you identify as a complete rube.