Man Arrested For Homicide After Woman Finds A Hard Drive Containing A Video He Made Titled “Homicide”

You Have The Right To Remain Stupid

DailyMail UKThe wife of a South African native who has been charged with brutally killing a woman in a hotel in Alaska and filming the murder on video, which later ended up on a misplaced SD card, is speaking out to defend her husband.  

Brian Smith, 48, a recently naturalized US citizen, was arrested on Tuesday in Anchorage and charged with first-degree murder after being identified because of his South African accent. His wife of five years, 69-year-old Stephanie Bissland, spoke to KTUU and voiced her support for him, saying that he was ‘a good husband’ and that he has never exhibited any violent tendencies.

Anchorage police linked Smith to the memory card labeled ‘homicide at midtown Marriott’ found on the street,’ which allegedly contained 39 photos and 12 videos of the suspect brutally assaulting and strangling the nude Henry on the floor of the TownePlace Suites by Marriott. In one of the videos he was allegedly heard screaming at the victim: ‘Just … die.’ 

An Anchorage resident came across the stray memory card on the street near her neighborhood grocery store on September 30.  Curious about the ‘homicide’ label, she opened the card on her computer and discovered the cache of horrific images before alerting the police.

Ugh, don’t you hate going thru all the trouble of murdering someone in cold blood and capturing it on video, and then losing the memory card you labeled “Homicide at the Midtown Marriott”? You’re just standing there patting your pockets going “now, what in heavens have I done with the memory card that contains various screenshots and video clips of that murder I did?” You check behind the couch, you look between your seat cushions, then you finally just give up like “oh well, everything happens for a reason, and if the damning evidence of the murder I committed and I were meant to be together again to help me avoid life in prison and/or the death penalty, so be it.”

Well, everything does happen for a reason, such as a woman walking out of a grocery store and becoming curious after seeing a memory card with the word “homicide” on it. If he didn’t want a woman nosing around in his business, he should have labeled it “How To Give Your Husband Epic Blowjobs” and she would have walked right on by.

If nothing else, this story serves as a pretty solid Yelp review for the Midtown Marriott in Anchorage. The walls were built to uphold privacy standards that, quite frankly, I’ve never experienced as a hotel guest. You ever stay at a Red Roof Inn? Their walls are so thin you can hear the Mr. Coffee machine percolating in the next room. One time I sneezed and some guy blessed me from the hallway. In fact, it’s the only hotel I can recall where I could listen to a private conversation next door without needing to lean up against the wall with a coffee mug. The TownSuites Marriott is the perfect hotel to mask whatever loud noises that may occur during your stay, such as intense number two’s, passionate sex, or maybe even just masturbating with gusto. This hotel takes privacy to the next level, like in this case, where you can apparently scream “JUST…DIEEE! JUST…DIEEEEE!” over and over as the other guests rest peacefully.

The hotel brochure for this place could write itself:

“Welcome to the TownSuites Marriott. Here you’ll enjoy a continental breakfast, spacious rooms, a business center, and, we don’t recommend it, but you could theoretically get away with murder here*.”

* – provided you don’t misplace the evidence like a fucking idiot.