Naked Couple Fall To Deaths During Balcony Sex Romp

“Not a bad way to go”

NY Post – A naked couple fell to their deaths while having sex on a third-floor balcony after a house party in Ecuador, according to a report Friday.

The woman, a 28-year-old mother, and her 35-year-old lover were locked in a passionate embrace when they slipped over the edge — and plunged onto the terrace below, reports.

The tragic pair was discovered by a neighbor in the Carapungo district of Quito, who heard a loud crash and rushed outside to investigate, according to the outlet. A heartbroken relative of the unnamed woman said she was the mother of an 8-year-old girl and that the fall happened not long after she threw a graduation party at her home.

Detectives are investigating the circumstances, said Calderon Police District Operations Chief Cristhian Trujillo. Local media reports said the couple wasn’t paying attention to the height of the balcony wall and toppled over it while having sex.

Wow, this is a sad one, and gives a whole new meaning to the term “going down?” But in all seriousness, what is there to investigate? The cops said they were locked in a passionate embrace when they went over the balcony, and were found a couple of stories below. The only way they could deduce the couple was having sex at the time of the fall is if the cops went to pull them apart and the dick was still in there. This case is closed. It sucks because it seems like they were genuinely having a good time. You’re throwing a graduation party, people are starting to trickle out, it’s a beautiful night in Ecuador, she saddles up next to you with that little cootchie-coo voice “who wants to bang me on the balconyyy?” Obviously, that one’s an easy decision, it’s either that or go back inside and fill up the dishwasher.

Now, if they want to investigate some kind of OSHA violation and whether or not the building was up to code, that’s fine with me. I mean, how low is a fucking balcony wall three stories up where you’re hitting it from behind and taking selfies while flexing one minute, and then eating pavement the next? Too low, that’s how low.