Want To See Something That Will Make You Never Ride An Elevator Again As Long As You Live?

NY POST – One of every New Yorker’s worst nightmares played out Thursday morning when a Kips Bay man was crushed to death by an elevator in his luxury high-rise as his horrified neighbors looked on, authorities said.

Sam Waisbren, 30, clawed desperately to escape the packed lift as it plunged from the lobby into the darkness of the shaft below, but he was crushed between the elevator car and the shaft wall, according to officials.

As one woman stands waiting, the elevator door opens into the lobby and a man wearing a backpack emerges, then wheels around as the lift gives way and Waisbren and five others go rocketing downward, the clip shows.

Jesus Christ almighty. I really didn’t need this today. I’m already horrified of dying a few dozen ways, and right up there at the tippy top is:

  1. Going for a stroll in the woods, just minding my own business, then getting ripped apart and devoured by a bear.
  2. Getting eaten alive by a shark, and the last thing I ever see is people on the beach yelling stupid, pointless shit like “try to swim away!” and “just jam your thumb into its’ eye!” as I continue to get chomped and eventually submerge into the darkness.
  3. Accidentally crossing the border into Syria and stumbling upon a bunch of ISIS guys playing Rummy.

And now, even though I hadn’t considered it before, I (we?) have to worry about elevators just giving way between floors. I’m bumping this video down a bit, that way it will give you some time to decide whether or not you really want to see it. By the way, that’s nice of the NY Post to suggest it’s one of every New Yorker’s worst nightmares, but I think it’s safe to say that it’s a nightmare for virtually anyone who has upcoming plans to get on an elevator.

After watching this video, I kind of want them to update Aerosmith’s “Love in an Elevator” video script:

Hot Chick: Good Morning, Mr. Tyler. Going…..down?

Steven Tyler: No thanks, I think I’ll take the stairs.