Coronavirus Claims A Victim Despite The Fact They Did Not Have The Disease

Not Shown: Indian Guy

NY PostA 50-year-old man in India who mistakenly thought he had contracted the coronavirus hung himself to protect his family, a news report said.

K. Bala Krishna was treated by doctors in Tirupati for a viral fever but was assured he did not have the deadly disease that has killed more than 1,350 worldwide, according to the Times of India.

Despite the doctors’ assurances, Krishna began watching videos on the virus on his mobile phone and became convinced that he had been infected, the newspaper said. He feared he would put his family in harm’s way.

“My father watched coronavirus-related videos the whole day on Monday and kept saying he had similar symptoms,” his son, Bala Murali, told the Times.

“He attacked us when we tried to tell him that he did not suffer from the deadly disease.” Murali said he even called a government-sponsored helpline but was told there was nothing to worry about because his father had not recently visited China, the epicenter of the plague.

On Tuesday, Krishna locked his family in their home and went to his mother’s gravesite. By the time his family was able to notify neighbors to come to free them, Krishna had hung himself from a tree near his mother’s grave, the newspaper said.

This is a sad story coming out of India. If doctors told me I had the Coronavirus, I’d be like “well, that’s noose to me.” I’m only kidding, that was just a pun I had hanging around. Anyway, this guy K. Bala thought he had the Coronavirus, but it turned out to be a common cold. This speaks volumes to where we are as a society, relying on tech for answers to almost everything. He simply picked up his phone, watched some videos that probably weren’t sanctioned by any medical institutions, and self-diagnosed himself with the deadly disease. This is why I don’t go on WebMD and do searches for “are my lymph nodes swollen even though I don’t know where they are?” or use Groupons when it comes time to get a physical. You need to have a doctor you can trust, you don’t go online to see if you need chemo. Jesus Krishna.

With that being said, I don’t have any medical background to speak of. I do, however, have countless hours of watching acclaimed television shows such as “Dateline” and “Dexter”, so I may be the foremost, albeit unlicensed, authority when it comes to determining cause of death. And, after an extensive review of all the facts in this case, it is my determination that the only thing K. Bala tested positive for was rope.

Now, making matters worse is this whole thing about how he hung himself at the cemetery where his mom already had a grave. That was thoughtful, and man, oh man, in a perfect world, you’d just dig another hole and toss K. Bala in there, but, nope, that’s not going to fly, not even in India. They’re going to have to cut him down, take him to the coroners office to determine the cause of death (of which there are many spoilers above), then eventually return him back to the cemetery where he can be properly laid to rest. It actually speaks volumes about the kind of man he was, because not only was he saving his family from the coronavirus (really just had the sniffles, but he died believing he did), but he also wanted to save everyone the hassle of having to go to the funeral home, forking over the equivalent of $13,000 in Indian money for their “assistance with helping you grieve during this very difficult time”, and all the other itemized, billable shit that goes along with sending a loved one off into the afterlife. We have somehow turned that once graceful, yet painful ceremony of saying goodbye into one final, greedy corporate money grab. So, my hat’s off to K. Bala, he tried to do the right thing for his family, and he died knowing he didn’t spread the virus. The fact that he couldn’t possibly spread the disease due to the fact he didn’t have it is irrelevant. It’s just sad to know the whole thing could have been avoided with a hot cup of TheraFlu.

Please note, this post is not to belittle the seriousness of having the Coronavirus. If you are currently affected, I honestly wish you the best, even though there is a slight chance you won’t live long enough to finish reading and/or share this blog. As you go towards the light, would it kill ya to click a button and share one more thing on social media?

Know someone with the Coronavirus or have some juicy celeb gossip? Send tips to Martin@wickedimproper.com