Well, Hello, Madame President!

Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the future first female president of the United States…..Ivanka Trump! We hear a lot of talk about Michelle Obama, Elizabeth Warren, or even, ick, Hillary Clinton, being women of style and grace, but this is class personified. Her ensemble is made up of a Prada skirt, black heels, and a silk blue button up top that probably wasn’t purchased from Kohl’s which stands absolutely no chance against those two nipples. Fortunately, we don’t operate in the same circles, otherwise…

Ivanka: “Hi, I’m Ivanka, nice to meet you.”

Me: “Hi, I’m Martin Nipples. Are you from around this areola I MEAN AREA?”

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