I wouldn't be opposed to the thing for the Carolinas.

No offense to any of you who live there, but why do we need South Dakota?  The obvious answer is because “50″ states is much nicer than “49,” but I have a solution.  Simply merge North and South Dakota, boom.  This leaves us with the unappealing “49,” so we have to do something about that.  Now, Puerto Rico doesn’t want to become a state because they enjoy the benefits of statehood without all of the f-ing taxes don’t want to lose their heritage.  So let’s let Mexico (natural resources, lots of coastline, but watch out for beheadings) and Venezuela (tons of oil) join the United States.  The first one with the best offer will be state #50.  OR!  We do all of that, sure, but we also sandwich Vermont and New Hampshire together, then we can have both of the new guys!

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