(Photo Courtesy of Deadspin. Click image for more.)
Boston, MA – The following is a dramatization of the two idiots pictured above.
Rob Gronkowski: “Yay! We lost Super Bowl 21-17! I thought we won but Matt Light reminded me about numbers. Me got puzzled when confetti came down. Team come close to doing good, we just didn’t make enough play that was good. My ankle feel good. Me feel good enough to get hyped and dance. Let’s take shirts off! You go first Matt Light! OMG! You still have windburns on your belly sides from pass rushers blowing by you last Super Bowl! YAY!”
Matt Light: “Gronk, take off your shirt! Do you know any two syllable words?! This is awesome! PARTY! My favorite part of the game is when Tom Coughlin Belichicked us by intentionally putting 12 men on the field! LOL! It took 9 seconds off the clock and we gained 5 yards! Wheeeeeee! I hope the fans are okay back in Boston!”
Gronkowski: “Duh..the who?”
Win or lose, these guys are on vacation while you sit on your mashed up balls and taint all day long at some job you hate. I’d like to get you out of your funk by saying “pitchers and catchers report in 6 weeks”, but let’s face it, those guys don’t give a fuck about the fans, either. You know who actually does give a fuck night in and night out and they STILL don’t get the respect they deserve (besides all of the beautiful poontanna they smashed last summer?) The Boston Bruins.