Well, just when you thought our state politicians could sink no lower, such as crashing their state-issued (i.e. taxpayer funded) Lincoln Towncar at 108mph, or being caught on camera stuffing cash into their bras in return for liquor licenses, Carlos Henriquez comes along and allegedly just probably wanted to get his dick sucked on in his rented Zip Car. With the exception of holding a woman captive and striking her, I tend to be on Carlos’ side on this issue. He’s technically a politician. Maybe they had a few drinks. He shouldn’t have to work quadruple-overtime all the way to 5am to get a blajoejay, he’s a State Representative for Christ’s sake. Whatever happened to women showing the utmost respect to our politicians? Ted Kennedy had perhaps the best line of all: “Hi, I’m Ted Kennedy, I’d appreciate your mouth casting a vote for my penis.” If and when that didn’t work, “Hi, I’m Ted Kennedy, suck my dick or I’ll take you base-jumping in my car.” Forget about Carlos Henriquez’ political career (it’s over), but what does this say about Zip Cars? The auto renters’ motto is “Wheels when you want them”, but now they’ll have to add an asterisk. “Zip Car. Wheels when you want them, *but if you think you’re going to get blown in our lime green VW Beetle that smells like the assholes of 70 other renters, you may have to physically force her head down there.”