Boston, MA – I know a few of you like sending hate mail and naughty comments, which I actually welcome, so before you say “Is this the Fresh Balls post again, Dickhead?”, let me just beat you to it and say “yes.” For our new readers, let us introduce the best product on the market with maybe the exception of a $5,000 sex robot. Here is our Fresh Balls review:
Wow are my balls fresh. I’ve been using this product called “Fresh Balls” for a week and my balls have never been so fresh and so full. Sure, half of the fun is applying the lotion, but the other half is the hours upon hours of the freshest smelling balls that you’ll ever smell. Can’t be here to smell my balls? Well, let me describe this wonderful scent for you. Picture baby powder mixed with the freshness of a fine Irish dew. My balls are that fresh. Did I rub this lotion all over my balls and accidentally slide by and mash it all over my taint and crack? You bet your stinky balls I did. I have put Fresh Balls all over my balls in the morning, went to work where I sit on my mashed up balls and taint all day long, went to the gym, went home and just before getting in the shower, I smelled my own balls. Guess what? Still fresh. Never again will I have to peel a stinky set of balls off the inside of my thighs like a Fruit Roll-Up. I’m really excited to approve this product, and here’s the link for you to get your own Fresh Balls. You are certainly very welcome.
(Disclaimer: Web site safe for work. For external use only. FAQ’s at Fresh Balls says to not eat Fresh Balls so do not eat Fresh Balls. Not a good sign if your wife comes home from “working late at the office” and her breath smells like Fresh Balls. Also not a good sign if your wife returns from “girls night out” and it smells like she’s been chewing Fresh Balls gum. There is no Fresh Balls gum, and you need to consult an attorney. Wicked Improper not responsible for your balls)