The Virus Formerly Known As “The Internet”

Hello and good evening,

By the time you read this, it may be morning, or, better yet, perhaps never. Still, we felt it was time to login and maybe drip a blog post out there into the ether, just to see what happens. Well, this blog is literally five minutes old, and wouldn’t you know there are already 78 fucking spambots leaving comments? Here, let me take a picture of our infected inbox:


So, there are 78 comments awaiting review on the world’s newest blog. That basically means that, with our without us human beings, the internet is alive and well. NOT. (Yes, I am still using that mis-direct from the 90’s where someone would state something sarcastically and then totes like blindside you with “NOT” and everyone would lol and slap dicks around and stuff.)

Anyway, part of me really really wants to blog, but the other part wants to just cry and eat cinnabons. The internet started out pretty good (email, getting directions, sharing recipes, countless hours of asian massage porn, napster, etc.) but now it’s just turned into this gross cesspool. I ‘thought’ gross cesspool was kind of redundant there, but you know what, when the guys ‘first’ install a cesspool and it’s just perfectly new concrete? I would eat off that cesspool. After the first test run of pee and dump comes down the chute, I am obviously not doing that, just wanted to specify that there is at least one moment where you can remember a cesspool not being gross. Unfortunately, we can no longer say that about the internet.

Thank you for reading, but please log off and encourage your kids to learn a trade.

Martin Munson

p.s. Follow me @martinmunson on twitter to read my witty banter and, spoiler alert, I sometimes show my tits.


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